Back in Time for the Afternoon
by Rhoswen19
Summary: Getting shot again wasn't the worse part, being a prisoner of his mind and taking a trip down memory lane to the worse day of his life, was. Deeks' past had the propensity of bringing up painful memories he rather forget. Especially, if they involved his father because sometimes, a fist can do a lot more damage than a bullet can.


Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of its characters. Although, I can't seem to pass up an opportunity to whump Deeks cuz he takes it like a champ! ...but the important part is I make no profit out of that, sadly.

Author's Note: We've known about Deeks' father for a while but they never really addressed the storyline properly in the show. I wanted to go there and explore that side of Deeks. So, this story is angsty but if you've read my fics before you know I love hurting Deeks. Poor baby will be dealing with both physical and emotional pain in this one. Enjoy!

A/N #2: Huge thanks to , who took time from her busy schedule to beta for me and I'm extremely grateful for that!

Back in Time for the Afternoon

By Laz

The knock on the door woke him from his nightmare. He looked around and saw Monty lying next to him and staring with those big brown eyes silently asking him if he was all right.

"I'm fine, Monty, stop staring at me that way."

"Deeks, you better be decent!" So, that solved the mystery. Kensi was the one behind the knocking on the door. He hated the way the pain meds affected his brain.

"Don't mess with the lock just wait a second." He turned to his dog "Go Monty, open the door for Kens." The pooch lazily got up from his spot, walked to the door and tugged the fabric that hanged from the door knob to the side effectively opening the door. "Thanks, Monty." by now Deeks had sat upright and rested his injured leg up on the table.

"Hey boy, how's your pet doing?" Kensi bent down to pet Monty under the chin and he wagged his tail in response.

"Ha, ha and ha. Monty get away from the enemy."

"I see he's cranky." she scratched Monty behind the ears.

"Getting shot has a tendency to do that." he looked at Monty who was following Kensi around. "Traitor."

She opened one of the kitchen cabinets and took out the dog's food placing a small amount in Monty's bowl. "You big baby."

"So you keep telling me."

"I was talking to the dog. You hungry?" she asked while pouring water in Monty's other bowl but got no response. "Deeks?"

"Sorry, I thought you were still talking to Monty."

She went back to the couch and placed a greasy bag on Deeks' lap. "Here, brought you a burger."

He took a bite and moaned "I love you."

"Easy, Deeks."

"I was talking to the burger."

"Right."

"Where's the beer?"

"I got you soda. There's no beer as long as you're taking meds. So, how are you feeling?"

"That's a loaded question."

"What?! How so?"

He took a bit bite of his food delaying the answer. When he looked her way she was still waiting for his reply. With his mouth still full he said "I don't know." and took another bite.

"How can you not know, Deeks? Either you feel better or you're still in pain."

"If those are my only options then I'm in pain."

"Why haven't you taken your meds?"

"They make me dizzy and no matter how much I sleep I just can't keep my eyes open it feels like in some kind of zombie state which in turns makes my brain feel like mush and I can't think straight. No wonder zombies are always going after brains, the ones they have don't work properly."

"Umm… okay. Let me get this straight; you just compared yourself to a zombie." She said taking a bite of her burger and flipping the channels looking for something to watch.

"See how messed up they have me! I'd never do that if I was in the right state of mind."

"Granted you're a little crazier than normal but you got shot Deeks, I think maybe you should bear the side effects for a day or two."

"It was a flesh wound. It hardly hurts."

Technically, it had been a flesh wound since the bullet had penetrated the flesh but didn't cause damage to the bone. It had entered horizontally through the side of his thigh but because it was spent it had to be surgically removed. There was very little damage but he had lost a lot of blood by the time his team got him to the hospital. The doctor said he was extremely lucky the bullet didn't hit the femoral artery nor had enough momentum to break his femur. Still it had taken a toll on him and he was slowly bouncing back.

"Nice try. If it hardly hurts then you should've answered with 'feel better'."

"Stop confusing me, Kens woman! I can take the side effects but it stirs stuff from the past that I rather leave alone."

She sensed the conversation would only get heavier if she pushed so instead she chose to lighten it a bit "Look, flesh wound or not the doctor said you needed rest. So how about after you eat your burger, you take your meds and then I get you in bed." Before he could say anything she added. "Oh grow up, Deeks."

"Can I get on record that you said you would get me in bed?"

"Sure, it's not like anyone can see the record or believe you for that matter."

"Why can't I just stay on the couch?"

"Because it is uncomfortable. You should consider buying a new one and, because you need to exercise your leg or your muscle will debilitate."

"I was shot four days ago; I'm giving it as much exercise as it needs."

"You haven't exactly left that couch since you got released."

"I've gone to the bathroom a few times, that counts."

"You should be walking more than that and you know it."

Deeks lowered his injured leg from the table and used a cane to get up from the couch. Kensi stood by his side enforcing tough love but staying close enough in case he needed support. Together they made their way to his room with Monty staying put in the living room.

"I don't like this." his voice laced with pain.

"Dully noted; you'll feel better soon, okay? Now, stop whining."

By the time he finally reached the bed, his whole body was shaking from exhaustion and pain. The fierce grip he had on the cane had his knuckles looking white. He knew the only reason Kensi was fluffing his pillows was to give him time to regain control of his feelings without feeling embarrassed and he appreciated it. It didn't take long for the past to suck him inside a nightmare.

Kensi got busy around the apartment while her partner slept. She was going to clean up but unlike her Deeks had a pretty spotless place. Even the dog's stuff was where it belonged. Just as well because she was not good at organizing. Monty was looking at her from his spot on the rug. "What'd you feel like doing boy?" The dog wagged his tail but didn't move. "Come on help me out! He's going to sleep for a while so it's just the two of us." Monty walked to the door and sat in front of it looking at her and back at the door. "You are one smart dog. Ok, fine I'm going to walk you but keep in mind I'm not Deeks so no butt sniffing or getting friendly with female dogs." Monty turned his head sideways. "Don't you give me that look; if you're smart enough to open a door you're smart enough to understand me." Kensi put the leash on him and out the door they went.

"Why does he keep getting hurt?" She asked the dog while they walk to the park. "Did he tell you how he got shot this time? So, this guy Robertson has me at gun point from behind. Then comes Deeks, with his hero complex and tells him to lower his weapon. The guy laughs and points the gun at him _'Why you're going to hurt me?' _he says and Deeks tell him, _'Nope, she's going to do that all on her own.'_ Robertson takes a second to think about it, I see him lowering the guy slowly and for a moment I think he's going to surrender but instead he fired at Deeks. I didn't even see where he got shot. I just saw him go down and my body reacted in anger. I put my left hand over the gun's shaft and elbowed him with my right arm. I disarmed him but he didn't go down easy. We exchanged a few blows before I managed to knock him out.

By that time, Deeks was already lying in a pool of his own blood. I kneeled down next to him and put pressure on the wound in his leg. I screamed at Eric over the comms to call an ambulance and Sam and Callen made it to where we were. Sam took over applying pressure while I tried to keep Deeks conscious. Can you believe he kept saying he was fine despite the hole in his leg? That is so Deeks! Anyways, apparently there was an accident on the freeway involving multiple cars and the ambulance was taking too long so Callen suggested to drive him ourselves. Between Callen and Sam they got him on the backseat of the car while I climbed in with him. It took some time but as soon as Sam stopped in front of the hospital, Callen jumped out and identified himself as a federal agent and said he had an agent down. Suddenly, there was a gurney and nurses and doctors and they whisked him away from my arms. Later they told us how he was going to be fine and that he'd be released in a couple of days but if he keeps at this pace I'm going to have gray hairs in a year. Actually, I think I found one the other day."

They arrived at the park and Kensi kneeled in front of Monty to take off the lease. "How about we keep this conversation to ourselves, huh?" He put a paw on her knee before running off. "If Deeks knew I was bitching about him to his dog I'd never hear the end of it." She sat on a bench and watched the dog exercise. She decided to take the opportunity to place a call to Deeks doctor and ask about the side effects he was feeling.

She felt so relaxed she failed to notice hours had passed and she should probably get Monty home. Kensi called the dog and together they made the trek back to Deeks apartment. Once inside the dog went straight to his bowl of water and she went to check on her partner. He was anything but sleeping peacefully. She got close and tried to rouse him from the nightmare he was surely having.

"Wake up, Deeks. Come on, wake up!" He mumbled something but kept on sleeping. "You weren't kidding. Those pills really knock you out." His agitation grew and she heard him say something that sounded like _No Dad_… "I don't want to smack you around, Deeks, but I will if you don't wake up." For some reason that only made him even more restless. "Shit. Okay change of tactics, Kensi." She told herself; taking a deep breath and trying again, "Wake up!" She screamed in his ear effectively startling him into consciousness.

"What the hell?!"

"I always wanted to do that." She said laughing "Sorry by the way."

"Geez you could kill someone that way."

"I said sorry!"

"Thanks… I think."

"What were you dreaming about?" The smile on her face slowly morphed into a concerned look.

"Nothing." Not only did he reply too fast but he also avoided looking at her.

Still, she kept on trying to get him to open up. "It didn't seem like nothing to me. You looked distressed. Whatever happened in your dream, it rattled you."

"I was reliving a bad experience."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, thanks."

"Does it have to do with your father?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You were mumbling stuff…"

"Look Kens, sometimes we do the sharing thing, but other times…" He took a deep breath and continued. "Other times we shrug it off and move on. Let's do that, ok? I'm comfortable with that."

"Whatever you say, partner."

Deeks was wrestling with his emotions. His past had the propensity of bringing up painful memories but he would use humor as his good ole defense mechanism and it worked most of the times. Then there were times when he had to man up and confront them head on. She was respecting him and butting out but he could tell she felt hurt, like he didn't trust her. He knew because that's how he felt back when she was digging into her father's murder and came face to face with her mother. They were coming from the same place. A place where you bottle it all up inside until you get shot and your magic pain pills unseal that soda full of painful stuff. If he could trust Kensi with his life, and he did, then he could also share with her the reason why he shot his father when he was 11 years old.

After he was done with his silent debate he decided he really needed to get it out of his chest and hopefully out of his mind. Deeks rearranged himself on the bed so that Kensi could sit next to him. She took her shoes off and sat with her legs stretched out and her shoulder an inch away from his. "Remember that case with Brandon Booth and how I got him talking by saying '_You don't have to talk about your dad if you don't want to. God knows I'm not talking about mine'_?"

"I do"

"Brandon thought he had it bad. You, on the other hand, had it great. Me? …my father was a drunk and a bully. He would leave bottles on the floor everywhere. Everything would piss him off and he would simply lash out at the slightest provocation. He'd hit my mother if she spoke out of turn, if she contradicted him, if she made something he didn't like for dinner, if she broke a plate… He would just called her useless and stupid and smack her around. Her silent tears hurt me more than any punch he could throw at me but they also angered me. I must have asked myself a million times why she'd let him hurt her, hurt us both? But when enough time passes by, you stop caring about answers and just focus on surviving."

"Black eyes, busted lips and broken ribs were common in my household. Then there was that one day when everything just went to hell. I was picking up the empty beer bottles and I heard a noise upstairs. I heard her scream but it was a different kind of scream so I dropped everything and ran towards the sound of her voice but as I got closer to her the sounds just stopped. There was no crying and no screaming. When I finally got to the room, there was blood everywhere and I thought she was dead. I yelled at him and he just walked up to me and punched me. He told me to shut the hell up, that he needed to think and then he started muttering how he didn't mean it but I knew better. It was a long time coming. He was one drink away from killing my mother he must have thought that day to be it. He walked to the closet calming like he was getting a coat or something. It was something alright, had a shotgun in his hands. At first I just stood there, didn't think my father would shoot me but then he looked me in the eyes and he said _'I've always hated you Marty'_"

Deeks imitated his father voice and a single tear ran down his cheek. Kensi had heard similar stories from victims she interviewed as part of her job and they always broke her heart. She did her best to comfort them but listening to Deeks rendered her speechless. She was sure he meant to give her the cliff notes version of what happened but instead he was sucked into the nightmare. Kensi had the feeling that even if she wanted to say something he might not hear her so she got closer until their shoulders touched and she let him break her heart.

He felt her warmth and it gave him the courage to finish his story. "At first, I didn't know where to run to, you know? It was just adrenaline rushing through my veins but then I remember the .38 Ray gave me. I made it my room and while he caught up with me I had already taken the gun out of its hiding place. I never held a gun with the intent of shooting someone before, much less my father. And yet there I was, holding the gun with shaking hands and waiting for the inevitable. Thing is, as soon as he reached the door frame and got a glimpse of where I was, he fired his shotgun."

"Because he didn't spend much time focusing on his target, the shot went wide. Some pellets hit the wall next to me while others actually hit me. The force threw me backwards and off the window I went. It was a second story window so nothing really happened to me except for a bump in the head but while I lay there, I hoped it was over.

It wasn't.

I pretended to be unconscious thinking I could fool my father into thinking I was dead but he cocked the shotgun ready to fire at me again. I could hear sirens in the distance and silently thanked God for whoever called the police after hearing the commotion. And then it became painfully obvious that he really wanted to kill me and that the police would probably be too late so I tighten my grip on the .38 that never left my hand as I fell, aimed it at him and fired before he could do the same. Then I promptly lost consciousness.

Turned out that bump on the head was actually a concussion and that my shot didn't kill my father just busted his shoulder. My mom didn't die that day either she had a head wound that bled a lot. This meant the whole family, if you can call it that ended up in the hospital with the exception of my father who went straight to jail without collecting $200 after he got treated."

Deeks looked at Kensi waiting for her to say something. He just bared his soul to her and now he wanted to crawl under the covers and turn back time.

"You were shot and thrown off a two story house when you were 11 years old?"

"Yeah."

She looked right into his eyes and said "I'm gonna have to bubble wrap you."

"What? Why?"

"Because you keep getting hurt! And apparently it's something you've been doing from an early age too."

"Usually not my fault though."

"Key word being, _usually_."

"You're so supportive, thank you."

When she noticed he relaxed a bit she went back to the subject still hanging in the air "Does it bother you?"

"What does?"

"That he died without apologizing for it."

"I never expected an apology from him is just… I think… is not fair, you know, he's free from it all while I remember every detail as it were yesterday."

"I know you wish you could forget all the pain you suffered but without it you wouldn't be the person you are today. The caring person that's always trying to help others even if it means he'll end up hurt in the process. The big kid that can connect with children that are too scared to let anyone that isn't their parents close. The best partner I could ask for."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Need anything before I leave?"

"Yeah, I called your doctor and she prescribed new pain pills. They should be ready soon so I gotta go pick them up."

In that same moment a big pile of fur jumped on the bed and settled near Deeks "You're the best."

"Don't you forget it."

"I was talking to Monty."

As she was leaving the bedroom she heard Deeks speak again "Seriously?" he said and she turned to look at him and saw the seriousness and emotion behind that word.

"Right back at ya!" and with a smile she walked away.

Finis

Ps. Reviews taste like strawberry dipped in chocolate for me so leave me some when you're done reading ;)


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